Fic: Separation (Narnia)

[croissantkatie]

Title: Separation
Fandom: The Chronicles of Narnia
Characters/Ships: Susan Pevensie
Rating: General Audiences
Content Notes: No archive warnings apply
Summary: Susan is no longer at home, but she isn't entirely removed from her siblings. Written for such_heights female character fest for the prompt Susan, epistolary.

 

My dear sister,

Please come home. It has been far too long. We missed you at Christmas, we all did. There is no need for this. Please Susan.

Always yours,

Lucy.

 

Lucy,

As much as I long to be with you, all of you, I know in my heart that it would not work. I am a different person now. I am not sure that saying that I have grown up is the right way to phrase it, but I am certainly different. If you, all of you, can accept this, I will come home gladly. Sadly, I do not think this is possible.

Peace by with you,

Susan.

 

Su,

Did Lucy write you? She said she was going to after Christmas but I don’t know if she ever did. Christmas was as festive as ever, but I missed you. The others did too. I don’t want you to come home if you don’t feel able, I just want you to know that I’m not the only one who thinks of you.

Your loving brother,

Edmund.

 

Edmund,

Thank you for your letter. And yes, Lucy did write asking me to come home. I replied, saying I would if I would be accepted as I am, but I have not heard from her since. It made me feel more disheartened than I have for years. I think I could have handled a flat no, but this silence is horrific. There’s still this glimmer of hope inside me that everything will be alright and it refuses to die, even though I know, can feel it in my bones, that I will not hear from her again. Not about this at least. I miss you all but I am not willing to give myself up for this. I am so sorry Ed, but I can’t do it.

Yours,

Susan.

 

Susan,

I understand. Truly I do. Do not force yourself to be someone else for the sake of other people. I admire your strength in this so much. I am not sure I could be so strong. But then again, I have always been the one who gave in. Every single time, and for that you have my apologies. I long to go back and change something, I know I should have said something. I should not have let you be isolated so. I left you alone for fear of what they would do and say to me, that I would end up alone and separated from everyone and in doing so I have made you more alone than I ever would have been. I treated you unfairly and for that you have my sincerest apologies.

Would you like to meet at all? I have missed your company a great deal. Whilst I enjoy our other siblings company too, I can honestly say that I have missed your wit and observations. I do not think that simply because you will not come home we are no longer siblings. I will always be your brother and you will always be my sister. Regardless of anything else.

Your loving brother,

Edmund.

 

Ed,

You need not be so hard on yourself. It was my choice. I chose to take this path and I do not regret it. Do not think yourself weak for what you have done Edmund. I understand the desire to stay within the fold; it is just that, for me at least, such a thing was no longer possible. I could have lied and deceived to stay with you all but that just felt too wrong. I love you all more dearly than anyone and the mere thought of maintaining that lie for so long hurt too much to bear. Although I do not enjoy are present situation, I find it preferable to the alternative.

I would enjoy seeing you too Edmund, but are you sure that is wise? I do not wish you to ostracise yourself for me.

All my love,

Susan.

 

Susan,

How does tea next Saturday strike you? I am not ostracising myself for you, I am merely spending some time with a sister who I have gone far too long without seeing.

I am so sorry you were ever in that position Su.

Yours, Ed.

 

Susan,

I do not have very much to put into this letter, seeing as I told you all my news when we saw each other last week. It was so good to see you. I have missed you so much and this eased the pain slightly. We must meet up in the future again. And clearly I need to meet your Miss Anderson next time.

Lovingly,

Edmund.